One other part of the transformation journey, is to know for one’s self, when they have changed in a positive way. Frequently, it’ll mean having what might normally be deemed, an “unpleasant” experience. Only difference is that you don’t feel the “unpleasantness.” You don’t lose your balance, or equanimity.
I had such an experience the other day.
Money has been a point of great importance in my life story, mostly because I have not been one to hold on to it. It has tended to flow through me, without “sticking” in any sufficient quantity. Oftentimes, it has flowed out faster than it came in. As much as I love philosophical (now “phaelosophical”) explorations, I rationalized that there was no way to make a living by simply offering my opinion.
Of course, I was “right.” I limited the financial fruits that I might have received by failing to see how sharing my thoughts and ideas could translate into financial value. On the other hand, it gave me a convenient excuse to not share, and spend more of my time involved in less satisfying, and also not lucrative activities.
Today I realize that none of these experiences happened to me without some serious “orchestration,” conscious or unconscious, on my part.
That being said, things have been changing, and I have chosen to become accustomed to having a couple hundred dollars in my pocket, as part of making conscious changes in my reality.
Before you even go there, having money on one’s person doesn’t mean that they become a “target” either consciously or unconsciously, for people who don’t have money (not that $200 is that much).
You are always as “safe” as you are. I KNOW that I AM harmless. I AM a harmonic presence. Therefore, harmony and safety is the reality that I AM.
Back to money. Rifling through my pockets the other day, I realized that a $100 bill that I knew I had on me for some time, was not there. In the process of digging into my pockets for various and sundry things that I keep in them, it must have fallen out. After checking all my pockets, and everywhere that I could think of, it was gone.
For me, $100 is still a lot of money to “lose.” That’s almost two tanks of gas, groceries for a week, or a couple of meals at a nice restaurant.
However, I didn’t feel the sharp “hit” in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t feel anxiety. Instead, thoughts of how the person that may have “stumbled upon” that $100 may have felt, entered my mind. How it brightened up his or her day; told family and friends, or perhaps enabled some unexpected pleasure.
I was okay with that. In fact, I actually felt joy to be the conduit, albeit unwitting, for the unexpected joy of another.
For me, it was liberating to not be stressed out over “the loss.” Money is important, but it’s value is overrated. I now see myself as the Value Holder and Creator of my reality. Why “diminish” myself and stress over something that is not real, and is, in essence, nothing?
THAT to me, represented a change in me. A positive change.
Before, I might have stressed out over what I would not be able to do as a result of the “loss.” I might have told my friends about it, and got them upset over my “loss” as well. It would have been “the story” of my day.
So imagine my surprise and joy when, “out of the blue,” I received yesterday a DONATION via PayPal from a man who appreciated some of the many videos I’ve produced and articles I’ve written on water.
It was for $100.
What if Life is always giving us what we expect from it… and what we put into it?